What's wrong?

The simplicity of life, once before, now enveloped in a web of darkness and deceit... Just what can bring back those joyful memories of Old?
On a different page, I really need to start on my basic theory!!

Release

bankai

Oblivion...

So caging ytd went alright, got injured loads of times though... and guitar lesson was quite fun though the reading of e scores were a lil confusing... Damn, I really needa start studying soon! Or else I'd be really really screwed for A's next year! Oh and I've realised that my blog posts after promos are totally different from the posts before!Anyways, going off to training soon to earn some $$!

laxing sua...

The tom yam soup today was the LOVE! gonna cage tmr! schwee!

Praying leads to S-alvation!

The most shocking thing happened during the release of results today! I got a freaking S for my physics h1 subject!Seriously Disturbing! Its like the end of the world is approaching soon or as though it's gonna snow in singapore! I bet all you ppl are wondering just how I managed to pull of this miracle!! And to tell u the truth, I dun have the slightest clue! On a more boring note, i achieved the targets i aimed for... Anw, its nice to see that many ppl have done well for this promotional exam, however, this is simply the first step! Onward to A's!
p.s. here's praying that e school will be lenient and relieve the worries of those whom have not done well...

Promos (continued)...

Chem MCQ was tough... Section C screwed, but thank God for section D! hope i have no careless mistakes! As for the other paper, Mathematics can just go fly kite!
Things look bleak, and i could possibly be enlisting soon...
Wonder which platoon I'll be put in?

Promos...

gp was so-so... hopefully can get a D due to my colourful language?
econs was downright blah... same old problems of too much to write, too little time... haiz... really low expectations for my econs grade... if all bodes well and i dun write out of point then maybe an E is in order...
there's chemistry and math papers tmr too...
chem's my most confident paper, yet at this point in time i totally have no confidence in it... as for math, i haven't touched it for bout 4, 5 days liao... and its probably really rusty...
expect a massacre tmr...

Inevitable...

Life gets bleaker,
day by day...
I'm hopelessly, so hopelessly
fading away...

A Prayer...

Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.
Proverbs 1: 31-32
Give me inspiration and motivation...

Quitter...

Its been uber long since I've blogged... In fact, I dun think anyone still comes by this blog... Anw, the past few weeks have been totally exhaustive, stressful and worrisome! All this has to do with e bloody promotional exams coming in a little over 6 days... Funnily enough, I'm still in front of my laptop blogging rather than worrying about the time constraints... It's kinda sad, but it took me 2 whole years to realise wat a pain in the *** JC life is, and I have completely lost any forms of motivation to even study for promos even though it is the last chance I'm ever gonna get... All around me, I can see everyone fervently mugging the best they can and I have to applaud them for staying strong throughout... My best wishes go out to each and every single one, that u will surpass the obstacle at hand, and achieve wat I couldn't...
And yet, I am unable to detach myself from SAJC...
Deep down, I still want to stay for just that little bit longer...

In stores now!

Schwee!! got e cd! haha...

Falala

Finally! The Falala Song is out in stores! been waiting ages for it... gonna go get it later! but for now, just gonna have to make do with this video... hope u guys like it too!

Deliberation...

The winds of change are fast approaching...

Boredom...

since I'm really uber bored to the max, just gonna blog bout e random things happening more or less right now...
sport ccas in sajc this year are really damn suay... totally no gold at all, and 5 silvers... although the teams lost, they really played their hearts out, keeping the saints spirit burning brightly... and so ends the sports season for term 2... but, it is without a doubt that team sajc really rocked this year. from an observer's point of view, many ccas have bonded closer together too, which is really quite cool... anw, I guess that it'd be really hard to emulate the sporting batch of 2008 in pretty much all of next year's inter-school competitions, not mainly because the batch of 2009 lack resources, but also because of the dwindling dsa spots available in sajc at this point in time. just how many slots will table-tennis be able to get this time? not that it matters, seeing how e next batch of sec 4 ping pongers aren't very good...
anw, on the academic front, there's pretty much no movement from me... except for the occasional studying session with josh and pei. its weird, but even though I know time is running out fairly quickly, I just don't have any urge to focus on the task at hand... and so, my CT is pretty much screwed to the max... right now, I've only totally covered about one chapter per subject, leaving a dozen more in its wake.
also, lately my life's just been revolving around marutama, suki, soccer, cage, ps3-ing and Mahjong. everytime I enter into a lecture venue, it'll just strike me how freaking useless and redundant it is. not to mention the countless mistakes that lecturers often make, resulting in mass confusion in the lecture hall..
Right now, it seems that my life's all messed up but, there's one positive thing that's filling me with anticipation. that would actually be e famine camp... I really hope that through it, the team will be able to bond closer together and have fun...
this post seems really moody and all, so I shall end things off on a lighter note,
band concert really rocked to the max!
thanks for e ticket cheryl! and thanks to steph an trish for inviting me!
totallehz random but whatever...
later

Mistakes...

been a while since I last posted... there's just not enough time in my life now...anw, had sakae sushi with e team today, teacher's treat! XDD had loads of fun, crapping and eating with e team and all, and I can only say that I'll really miss e J2s when they're gone...

anw, time's really whizzing by... its May in just a blink of an eye, and I'm really lagging behind in terms of schoolwork... need to buck up soon... or I'll be screwed just like last year...

time is running fast away...

Procrastination...

been a while since I last updated... anw, had a rather slack day in school today... I need some serious mugging soon! managed to complete my GP essay after uber lot of procrastinating and I hope it'll score a B at least... had marutama with pei pei after school and it was shiok as always! too bad Loh couldn't join us eh... haha... oh ya, pretty sianed over my tests results over the past few days... I swear e results of maths and chem just keep fluctuating from failing to passing and vice versa... however, econs should remain consistent, especially since I'm quite confident I'll fail it... gonna mug with josh and co tmr... hope its effective!

Wednesday- a rather slack day as well, but I had fun at e end of it... especially since I could finally jong after dunno how many million ponging years! haha... Really needa have another session soon!

Thursday-totally uber boring labour day... did part of my GP essay and procrasinated lots... supposed to go suki, however cancelled on account of a sushi treat by ping pong teachers on fri...
but its was changed at e last min! damn this sushi craving just won't go away...
anyway, visited cuz at TTSH to see how he's doing after e op... it went pretty well, and hopefully there'll be a good sign on e results of his tumor... that'll be one worry off my mind... anw, really thankful to e ppl who showed concern for him and kept him in your prayers... Bean, Josh, Jolyn and Liting... sorry if i missed out anyone yea, not intentional! haha...
anw, this just about wraps up my post for today...
sayonara...

To Top It All...

wells, on account that people say that my blog is emo and all, here's something to lighten up e mood...

MUSIC thoughts!How to Play:1. Put your music player on shuffle.2. Press forward for each question.3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating.4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
Nobody's Home- Avril Lavigne
lonely I guess... kinda true... I could always contemplate on e meaning of my life... totally NOT emo...

Will you get far in life?
All At Once- The Fray
I guess not, if i'm gonna keep going back to familiarity...

How do your friends see you?
I'm With You- Avril Lavigne
pretty close I guess... woohoo... or maybe just someone they've gotta comfort?

Will you get married?
Photograph- Nickleback
maybe? someone from e past? go figure...

What is your best friend's theme song?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day
maybe he ain't my best fren aye? he's walking alone afterall, haha...

What is the story of your life?
Signal Fire- Snow Patrol
a beacon of hope for others? hahaha...

What was high school like?
Jenny- The Click Five
I swear i have no idea who Jenny is! Pei Pei! NO SCANDALS AH!

How can you get ahead in life?
Doubt & Trust- D Grayman
Trust other ppl? I try to...

What's the best thing about your friends?
Do You Know?( The Ping Pong Song)- Enrique Iglesias
haha... not really... gotta know all u guys better i guess! unless its about pingpong skillz... lol...

What's in store for this weekend?
How Far We've Come- Matchbox 20
end of the world? haha... hopefully... ( I'm not emo, i swear)

Describe your grandparents.
Never Again- Kelly Clarkson
never there? that is so untrue...

How's your life going?
Thunder- Boys like Girls
i guess there's gonna be loads of conflicts...

What song will they play at your funeral?
How to Save a Life- The Fray
A lil too late for that don't you think...

How does the world see you?
Collide- Dishwalla
A failure or a maniac? that's sad...

Will you have a happy life?
Over My Head- The Fray
apparently i think too much... and a happy life is not on the cards for me... cool...

Do people secretly lust after you?
For You I Will( Confidence)- Teddy Geiger
I guess so... not that much a secret though... haha... sorry for being so BHB...

How can you make yourself happy?
Apologise- Timbaland...
by apologising huh... to a certain someone i guess... but not a pastime of mine!

What should you do with your life?
Hot- Avril Lavigne
make it hot? I prefer it just e way it is now though...

Will you ever have children?
After Dark- Asian Kungfu Generation
I'd prefer not to elaborate...

What song would you strip to?
It's Not Over- Chris Daughtry
Ditto Above...

What does your mum think of you?
Good Day- The Click Five
hmm... thats reassuring i guess...

What is your deep dark secret?
The Great Escape- Boys Like Girls
That's not really a secret... nice try though...

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Teardrops on my Guitar- Taylor Swift
Crying over me? wat kinda mortal enemy is that?!

What is your personality like?
Jian Dan Ai- Jay Chou
Fretting over love? possibly...

What song will be played at your wedding?
Home- Chris Daughtry
Going home?! damn...

How does love feel to you?
Alones- Aqua Timez
lonely again! I'm so screwed...

What makes you smile?
Gotta Go My Own Way- HSM 2
I'm really gonna die as a really really lonely person aren't I... now I even haveto feel happy bout it...

How would you react if the world crumbles?
Innocent Sorrow- Abingdon Boys School
thats a relief... I'm innocent! yet sorrowful...

How do you feel when you wake up in the morning?
Teenagers- My Chemical Romance
a spoilt brat i guess? any takers?

Relationships feel like...?
Hey There Delilah- Plain White T's
joyful? haha... lots of ups and downs in that aspect...

At your birthday, they should sing...?
Unwell-Matchbox 20
boy do I have a sad life... I'm gonna be sick on my birthday...

What's the song in your head during lectures?
It Ends Tonight- The All-American Rejects
I'll probably get all my answers to e lec at night? CLOSET MUGGER!!

What's your shopping anthem?
Miserable at Best- Mayday Parade
if I don't get it I'll just be sad, no biggie...

Sometimes, what do you wish you could tell your teachers?
Your Call- The Secondhand Serenade
Thats kinda true... watever I'm learning is totally up to them...

What does chocolate do to you?
My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne
simple pure blissfulness...

What makes you wanna dance?
Stay Close, Don't Go- The Secondhand Serenade
not bad... gets my spirit up!

What would be the soundtrack to your first kiss?
Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Kinda Romantic...

What's the song of your first breakup?
Fall To Pieces- Avril Lavigne
that is so strangely fitting...

What drives you up the wall?
Wherever You Will Go- The Calling
I totally don't see e link here...

What would you be thinking as you die?
I can Wait Forever- Simple Plan
thats quite ironic... seriously...

What do your siblings think of you?
Our Lives- The Calling
ok... that's going a bit far there...

What does your crush think of you?
Dirty Little Secret- The All-American Rejects
I absolutely refuse to elaborate on that!!

Tag 5 People.
i. Pei Pei
ii. Joshua
iii. Auggy
iv. Sophia
v. Jolyn

Finally done...

Sea of Memories...

the landscape I see looking out the window is a gushing river.
until the seasons change, I'll let it be...
you were closer than anyone else, and it made me unsettled...
anyways, at that time, I hadn't realized it...
I would not ever be able to see you again...
but I should not have done such regretful things...
if you are happy then,
I will never say that it is okay...
my heart was so mixed up,
either way, it would be consumed by darkness...

Beneath that Calm Exterior...

i can sense it...
that pretence...
the mask concealing your true emotions...
dun bear it, and just let it all out...

Hope...

without so much as a warning, it just struck...
a bolt from the blue...
right now it just feels that life's too short for anything else...
to let that fear and tension grasp around me,
it must be ten-fold worst on you...
life's meant to be lived to the fullest,
hope you'll get well real soon...

Striving to be the Best...

ytd was rather sianed, had physics tutorial of which i totally know nothing about, as well as chem and econs test... chem test went by okay i guess... but econs test was jialat... didn't have enough time, and i was stoning for 10 mins! seriously wasted precious time... went for lunch with clara, sal, cheryl and steph after, and it was really fun catching up... anw, had a study session with pei and loh today, and it went okay i guess... managed to do a little bit of work... anw, went to marutama for dinner later on and it was really shiok! after that, walked around a bit and stoned aimlessly at some areas... but in all, it was quite a fun day...
overlook one's incompetence and move forward...
its mind over matter...

Divertion to Something New...

competition is neccesary for there to be progression in today's society, without it, all one can simply expect from themselves is mediocrity... right now, i'm neither up nor down... and this is definitely not some place i wna be at for e rest of my life...
waiting for e winds of change...

Preparation...

today was a really slack day, except for e gp presentation which just whizzed by... anw, i've just realised that i noe totally nthg about atomic structure! my god... if got test i instant fail like f***... oh ya, i gotta retake e econs test too... heard its quite tough but oh well... had two man intensive trg after school today... me and pei pei! we trained from 0320 to 0600! with a short break in between... during that time, we played a whopping 26 matches! uber tiring seh... and now, i'm just slacking without touching my notes... waiting for sleep to claim me...

To Promise...

we used to have the same smile,
but too many moments have passed since then...
and i am tormented by the fact that we couldn't accept each another...
so, i cast off my pride,
to bring tenderness to this world...
i gotta say,
even if you show courage and pretend to be strong,
you can't live all alone...
the promise we made on that day,
remains deep in my heart...
if life goes on, you must not forget...
don't let it go,
this vast land and all your friends...

Disparity...

we have to keep running to the unseen end,
we may never seen such restful days again...
bury your despair deep in your heart,
let your face show nothing but strength...
ever onwards our tired wings carry us,
they'll never ever beat us down...
we'll keep going on forever,
until we change the world...

Unfocused...

grasping at just about anything to help me pull through... unable to concentrate on the things around me... how can i do well like this? reaction kinetics so totally sucks...
anw, just wna thank e frens who've made my day meaningful, fun and happy... u're e best!
when all's wrong, and there's no one to fall back on...

Disoriented in Life...

right now, i've lost all sense of direction in life... there's a lack of motivation and focus, in just about anything i do... all these have left me pondering, just what is important to me in life and why am i really here... anw, congrats to people who did well for pw, whether it'd be A's B's or C's... i got a B btw, but somehow, it just doesn't seem that important anymore... wells, i'm really thankful and priviledged to have been working with Trish, Darren, Steph and Mish throughout e entire pw process... it was painful at times and yet really fun with u all... congrats on ur results and all e best to ur future endeavors!
there's a reason we're here...
i just don't know wat it is...

Moments in Life...

had 5 stations today, pretty much went okay, except for e bl**dy pull-ups... anw, went to marutama with pei after school... seriously shiok! went to plmgs right after that to see some spectacular matches between rjc and njc... quite a close fight... seeing all those matches did leave me with a tinge of regret though... but, as paka said, i'd rather lose with u guys than go through with e other team... well, except maybe ahem... haha... anw, went down to njc to watch e guys soccer match between sajc and njc... kudos to e sa soccer team for putting up such an impressive and exhilarating performance, although it was called off, thanks to bean! haha... looking forward to seeing u guys in e finals yea! and to e rest of team sajc, all e best for ur upcoming matches!
everything happens for a reason...

To Remember...

it was a rather tiring day today... lotsa work to catch up on, yet here i am blogging... haha... anw, school totally drained me today, with e 2.4km run and other boring lectures... also, trg was rather slack today... especially without pei pei! i could even go play badminton!
lol... uber fun... but no lychee ice break! had dinner at kfc with paka, xr, amy, sammy and shan shan after trg... i swear, i'm gonna get mega horizontally challenged! anw, it was really fun remembering things from the past and really insightful too! right paka?! hahas... wells, back to mugging... rightt after kekkaishi!
reminiscing about memories of age old...

If Anything...

congrats to e gals for making it into e top 4! hope u all can go onto e finals! haha... e ball is round, anything can happen! oh ya, e draw for e individuals came out... i must say, thankfully i'm not as unlucky as i was last year! haha... as for pei pei, whack DYL!!! then i'll see u in e final! * crosses fingers* on a different note, i'm quite proud of myself today! managed to complete e outstanding hmwk, left e bl**dy PI though... wonder if i should go for NAPFA tmr... see my pull-ups how first! oh and, happy bday G!
thoughts ever winding...
memories ever lasting...

A Simple Life...

well, today went by really slowly for me... pretty much used e lecture times to complete my outstanding work... bit by bit, i'm slowly getting e hang of JC life once more... but it is possibly, too late... anw, tmr's pretty much e crucial match for e gals to make it into e top 4... i'm sure they'll do great!
all e best! dun let e sa gals tradition die! haha...
i'll be rooting for u all by the sidelines!

Decisions, Decisions...

I need a resolve set in stone...
my decision is clear, its time to stop running away and face up to reality...

Twists in Life...

as e days go by, i'm getting more and more slack... hardly able to cope with e schoolwork right now... is it just me, or has going into a jc life pretty much gotten all sianz and tiring... really can't envision myself holding on to this kinda life for e next two years... oh wells, i'll noe on thurs...
on a brighter note, had a great time with bean and auggy during physics today! seriously just crapping around throughout e whole lesson! thankfully we are split up in e same class with e better teacher! haha... anw, xl, josh, ws, yj and wk came over my house today... ps3-ing and jong! schwee manz! left around 3.30 to go soccer with jian, bean, auggy, pei pei and kai xiang... didn't really enjoy myself though... its still better playing with ppl u noe! haha... cage soonz! anw, walked to bus stop with pei pei and chatted... really insightful... lol... and went home once his bus arrived... well, this pretty much sums up my day... oh, and e gals got a really good draw for e second round!
confusion arises out of fear of making a mistake...
really needa sort out my thoughts...
damn... my life's full of regrets...

An Ode to...

wat a slack day... had pe, physics, maths lec and econs lec... i seriously dun understand anything about functions... and to top it off, i got a paltry 11/30 for my maths test... thanks to e dumb apgp question... anw, went marutama with pei pei after school... seriously shiok sia... interesting convos and good company. should really bring bean and auggy there soon! then liting came over later on, and we had a fun time just walking around and stoning into space... haha... totally not caring about any hmwk i might have right now... I'm seriously slacking like free...
to end off this post, I'm really thankful to have such wonderful frens around me... from 4H, 07s23, 08s23(pae), 08s27, 'scholars' and ping pong peeps( hem hem), here's a great big thanks for sticking by me through e thick and thin of it all, whether it'd be happy occasions, or troubling dilemmas...
having family and frens was pretty much e best things God made...

Expected Defeat with some Honour...

well, today pretty much marks e end of season for me... i must say that although e guys team did lose to HCI 4-1, we did put our best effort into it and sure as hell gave them a run for their money... most of us at least... haha... anw, today is seriously a day full of mixed emotions, totally topsy turvy... total disappointment with myself over e way i did my maths test today... i swear nvr to forget e bloody apgp formulaes man... then there was a light jovial mood during competition, first time i ever felt no pressure in all my matches so far... haha... but it was pure luck that i did manage to beat Bryan... it was a spectacular game though... haha... most of e games were! especially peipei and sammy's match with leonard and song yuan! seriously, all on fire sia... imba... then there's paka's final swansong... he was unlucky, but he did get most of e crowd's attention! Xuanlei and junyong were quite awesome too!almost a spectacular match brewing there too! well, this pretty much wraps up e match against HCI today... I must say, i quite enjoyed myself overall today... it was one heck of a game... most of it! luckily there's no hmwk today, so i shall just slack...
oh, and congrats to e gals! may u get a really good draw for e second round!
all in all, an honourable defeat... e best teams won...
here's all e best to em!

I Need Assertiveness...

green slip-ed home today as i wasn't really feeling well... doubt i'll go trg too... really just not in e mood to do anything at all... anw, maths test on tmr... i'm a lil prepared, just needing a little recap on e chapters... a great big thanks to all whom have shown concern for me all through ytd and today, really sorry for not replying, but i'd preferred to have been left alone then. i really hate this hollow self of mine, somehow, i just can't seem to get over this issue... and this totally doesn't suit me one bit. right now, i'm just tempted to get away from SA, its totally different from the atmosphere from last year, although e frens are still as dear. once again, thanks for all ur support...
if only time could be reversed, back to when life was full of vibrancy...
As Bean said: nvr let today's disappointments overshadow tml's dreams...
its about time i moved on and focused on the task at hand...

A Taste of Bitter Disappointment...

today just really didn't go very well... as expected my skills were too inferior too even pose the simplest threat... season's pretty much over for me this year, bringing a feeling of sadness and disappointment along with it... really sorry guys, u all depended on me, yet... i'm just a failure... kudos to the gals, glad u gals made it through... dun start slacking now, this year's competition just ain't as easy as u think... probably won't be able to go down with u all in e quarter-finals, not that i'll be of much help... anw, all e best... well, i guess my life's now back to mugging... how exciting that is...

To Clear the Corners of My Mind...

have u ever done things that u regret? totally emo right now.. gotta learn to keep my bloody mouth shut.. anw, hmwk's piling up.. better get back to my mugger mode soon.. or i'll die just like last year.. even till now, the choice of gg to a JC or a Poly still haunts my very thoughts... how i wish i could go back to e old days, where i had not a care in the world. alas, life just isn't meant to be this way... another worrying thing is e competition for tmr... totally lost confidance in my skills, but i believe that my team can pull through... just dun rely on me guys... and i apologise if i do let u all down tmr...
it sucks to have a feeling of guilt tugging away at u...
lesson for the day: if it doesn't concern u, keep ur nose out of it...